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First Date Food

December 1, 2010

Eating in front of someone you don’t know, on a date, is my personal equivalent of farting audibly in a silent room. Who wants to talk with food in your mouth? Who wants to pretend like their food is not better than the company? Who wants to sit across from someone you don’t know well for 1 – 1.5 hours, straight? It’s an unnatural way of communicating. That’s why this article on What To Eat On a First Date is hilarious. Personally: I choose coffee dates, because I’m pretty much always in the category below.

1. Don’t choose something you REALLY like: Let’s face it, if I get a big old plate of creamy cheese mac, I’m going to stick my head in it like an ostrich and totally not listen to anything my date says. I will not hear them  because of all the moaning and I will not see them because of all the eye rolling I will do. I mean, if it comes with bread crumbs on top I might just leave with my little bowl, put it in my bed and make sweet sweet consensual love with that instead of my date.

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