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Dear Charmin

January 7, 2011

You can cuten it up with little animated bears, but all I can think when I see these commercials is, these commercials are about shitting. and how Charmin will give you the best shits with minimal problems. I can’t decide if I should give them props for not being vague and using kittens and puppies (ahem, Cottonelle), or be disgusted that they are literally talking about toilet paper sticking to your ass while wiping.

If I were going to do a commercial for toilet paper, I would do one of those *fast-frames commercials where you dont see the guys face, you just see someone going into the bathroom quickly, and the door shutting, a 1 second pause so as not to imply pooing, then, coming out immediately and saying “ahh” and then someone would whisper “luxury where you might least suspect.”

*Not a “thing”

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