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Live-blogging the 2011 MMVA’s

August 28, 2011

That’s a wrap! All in all that was one of the better MMVA’s I’ve seen in the last few years, which doesn’t say much. Highlight was easily Beyonce’s baby announcement and Jay’s reaction. Night y’all!

11:23 pm: BARFFF Lil Wayne is doing his slow jam? Does he have a grill or..really fucked teeth? Oh I think the answer is grill. Yeahh now he’s going insane. And swearing a lot, I think, given all the bleeps. How are his pants not falling down? He kind of blew the roof off. Except he picked up an electric guitar that didn’t appear to be plugged into anything, then smashed it to the ground like he had strummed it more than three times (he didn’t).

11:19 pm: Video Of The Year! Guessing Bruno Mars or Katy Perry. Surprised Gaga or Kanye aren’t in this category? BLAM Katy Perry. No way Firework is actually the Best Video Of the Year…silliness. I don’t get the look Katy is going for…I blame Gaga for making anything-goes “fashion” fashionable.

11:14 pm: Oh my god when is this going to be over.

11:04 pm: Russell Brand is doing a tribute to Amy Winehouse. I don’t really understand why Tony Benet is part of this, but that could stem from the fact that I know nothing about him. Oh apparently they recorded something together. There’s footage. Aw…she sounds amazing and looks really healthy. Bruno Mars is now performing Valerie. I love this song. He’s doing a way better job than when he performed with Janelle Monae at….The Grammy’s if I’m not mistaken.

10:55 pm: Best Female Video goes to Lady Gaga for Born This Way. She’s totally drunk (not just based on the swig she just took) and going to accept as Jo. HA she just told MTV like it is; after winning Best Video With A Message earlier in the night she angrily said that every artists video has a message (or rather the “many great artists that are here tonight).

10:53 pm: Jersey Shore girls are presenting with Cloris Leachman. Deena’s dress is AMAZING. Not sarcastic, I love it. Cloris just said she was down to fuck with Pauly D haha awesome.

10:42 pm: Man I really hate Jared Leto. I have no idea who Young the Giant is, but they’re performing now. I’m not even sure if thats the name of their band, thats just what I thought I heard. Good for them? I think I like this song. Holy shit they were really good. That lead singer is awesome.

10:40 pm: Best New Artist (chosen by fans) to be announced. I think Wiz Khalifa will win, but I wish Tyler The Creator or Kreayshawn would win. Oh hai!! Tyler The Creator won. A woman I’m assuming is his mom is going nuts.

10:30 pm: Oh Beyonce is performing Love On Top!! I fucking love this song. She also basically announced her pregnancy – “I want you to feel this love growing inside of me.” She killed it. Now: she opened her blazer to point out her slight belly rubbing it. Jay Z and Kanye went nuts – Jay seemed so.happy. which might stand as the best moment of the show.

10:24 pm: Lady Gaga is still in Jo mode. She’s introducing the Britney Spears tribute. “She’s a pop music legend and the music industry wouldn’t be the same without her” – true! They’re rapid firing through all her hit songs in dance form, but it would be way cooler if other artists were performing them? That was a really short “tribute.” Lady Gaga as Jo seems to be genuinely weirding out Britney on the podium. Now the two of them are introducing Beyonce, which is kind of making B seem better than either of them.

10:15 pm: Chris Brown is dancing through 1990 to present. Wait he just skipped from Nirvana all the way until now with his newest single, Live Your Life…or Beautiful People, I’m just making up names based on the chorus. No singing, all dancing. And flying through the air on some chord. Everyone just wants to hear “Look At Me Now,” Chris.

10:12 pm: Biebs wins best male video, or something. He’s bigging up Jesus.

10:00 pm: Adele is performing “Someone Like You” with a piano player and a spotlight – love that she needs no theatrics. Her nails look like claws.

9:47: “I’m not an actor” “I’m not an enormous black man” – Rick Ross and Paul Rudd win. Pitbull, Neyo and whoever the girl that does the vocals for “Everything Tonight” are performing. It’s pretty ok. They just shot to Katie Holmes looking really unimpressed.

9:45: Kanye West and Katy Perry won best collaboration and Kanye was super humble, even after Katy made a joke about him interrupting her. Well played Kanye – he knows he has a reputation as an asshole; if modesty is his new PR tactic, its a good move.

9:34 pm: Rumourmill: Beyonce is pregnant?!? Anyways, Tyler The Creator and his crew are battling Jack Black Will Ferrell and someone else, its weird. Best hip hop video! Nicki Minaj wins.

9:26 pm: Miley Cyrus looks like she got murdered by some moss and is not wearing a bra.

9:23 pm: There’s the Otis….Jay and Kanye and some pyrotechnics. Ha! Someone jumped up on stage and immediately got taken away.

9:16 pm: YEAH Britney Spears won best pop music video! I love her. She seems more normal that usual.

9:13 pm: Wooaaa Jonah Hill is so skinny!! I think the look Nicki Minaj was going for was ice cream cone but I’m not 100% sure.

9:10 pm: Kevin Hart (comedian) is “not hosting” but seems like he’s basically hosting. Yup: embarrassing.

9:06 pm: She stopped dancing and is back on the piano. I’m happy again. Dave Grohl looked as delighted as Christmas morning when she called on guitarist Brian didnt-hear-his-last-name.

9:04 pm: 3 minute monologue has ended with Jo singing You and Me at a piano. Its kind of awesome, because, its completely different than anything I’ve ever seen at the MMVA’s. Oh she started dancing. I’m slightly disappointed.

9:00 pm: Lady Gaga as her not-Bob-Dylan alter ego, who is apparently named Jo. He’s doing a monologue and making fun of Lady Gaga.

8:58 pm: Katy Perry and Russell Brand look good together! He looks kind of hot. She is wearing some pseudo Asian get up.

Awards shows have been get increasingly embarrassing to watch; no host this year – will it make for less embarrassment? Are Jay Z and Kanye going to shut it down? What Lady Gaga is going to wear is the top trending hashtag on twitter. Answer = ridiculous in any case. There. I saved you the brain power.

Enough eye rolling, I’m excited! Hit refresh.

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